Most people picture a live-in carer either doing almost nothing or doing everything, and neither is right. This page walks through an ordinary weekday in a house where someone lives in, so you can judge whether it would suit your parent. Times shift to fit the person. Nobody is woken at seven because a rota says so.
The carer is usually up first. If your parent wakes early, the day starts with a cup of tea and a chat rather than a task list. Help with washing, dressing and grooming comes at whatever pace suits, which for someone with stiff mornings or Parkinson's can be an unhurried hour rather than fifteen minutes.
Medication is prompted and recorded at the times on the chart. Breakfast is cooked to preference. After that the carer will often get the washing on, tidy round and check the diary for appointments, while your parent reads the paper or watches the news.
Waking gently, tea, and time to come round
Washing, dressing, hair, shaving, oral and skin care
Medication prompting and written recording
Breakfast cooked to preference, not to a menu
Laundry, beds, tidying while the household wakes up
Midday, roughly 11am to 3pm
This is usually the busiest stretch and the part families underestimate. It covers the shopping, the pharmacy run, the chiropodist, the hairdresser, the hospital appointment, the bank. A live-in carer does these with your parent rather than instead of them wherever possible, because doing the small errands is often what keeps someone feeling like themselves.
Lunch is cooked at home. Afterwards many people rest, and this is when the carer normally takes part of their daily break: a walk, a sit down with a book, their own phone calls.
Afternoon and evening, roughly 3pm to 9pm
Afternoons are often the quietest and the most valuable. Company, conversation, a hand of cards, the garden, a visit from a neighbour. For someone living with dementia this is also the part of the day when confusion can build, and a familiar face who knows the routine makes a real difference to how the evening goes.
The evening meal, medication, a favourite programme, then help to get ready for bed at the usual time. The carer writes up the day's notes so the office, the relief carer and the family can all see what happened.
Overnight, and what the role does not include
The carer sleeps in their own room in the house and is there if your parent needs help to the bathroom or becomes unsettled. Occasional disturbance is part of the role. Regular help through the night is not, and if that is the pattern we quote for a waking night arrangement rather than expect one person to cover it.
Some things sit outside the role and we say so before a placement starts. Carers do not carry out nursing tasks that belong to district nurses, they do not deep clean or care for other adults in the house, and they do not make financial or legal decisions.
Included: personal care, meals, medication prompting, household routine, company, appointments
Included: liaison with the GP surgery, district nurses and pharmacy
Not included: clinical nursing tasks led by the NHS team
Not included: heavy household work or caring for other adults in the home
Frequently asked questions
Does the carer ever get to sit down?
Yes, and it is better for everyone that they do. Live-in carers take around two hours of break across the day, usually while your parent is resting or has visitors. A carer who never stops does not last the rotation.
Will my mother be left alone at any point?
During the daily break the carer may go for a walk or to the shop, and for most people that is fine. If your mother should not be left alone at all, say so at the assessment. It changes the shape of the package and we would rather plan for it than pretend otherwise.
Can the carer drive my father's car?
Often yes, if the carer drives and the insurance covers it. Many families find this is what makes the placement work, because appointments and outings stop depending on relatives being free.
Who does the cooking and shopping?
The carer does, with your father where he wants to be involved. Food is bought from the household shop, and the carer eats the same meals rather than being catered for separately.
Do carers do housework?
They keep the home clean and running: laundry, washing up, hoovering, changing beds, tidying. They are not cleaners for the whole property, so many families keep an existing cleaner on for the heavier work.
How will I know what happened each day?
Daily notes are written up in the home and are yours to read at any time. If you live further away, your care manager can talk you through them and will phone you about anything that has changed.
