How to Plan Respite Care: A Family Checklist

Decide what kind of break you actually need

Start with you, not the logistics. Is the aim to sleep through a few nights, to keep your own hospital appointments, to go on holiday, or simply to have one afternoon a week that is yours? The answer decides whether you need a few hours of cover, overnight support or someone living in.

If you have not had a carer's assessment from your council, ask for one. It is free, it is about your needs as the carer, and it can lead to support with the cost of breaks.

When to book

For a holiday or planned operation, start arranging respite as soon as the date is fixed. That gives time for an assessment visit, a written care plan and, ideally, an introduction between the carer and your relative before you leave.

For regular breaks, a trial run helps. A couple of short sessions while you are still in the house lets everyone get used to the new face and lets you see that things are being done the way your relative likes.

• Holiday or planned surgery: start as soon as the date is known
• Regular breaks: book a short trial session first
• Introductions: one meeting before the first real break if possible

The handover file: what to write down

Put everything into one folder or document and leave a copy in the kitchen. It does not need to be polished; it needs to be accurate and easy to find.

Begin with a one-page summary: name, what they like to be called, main health conditions, allergies, mobility, and the three things that matter most to them day to day. Then add the detail.

• Medication list with doses, times and whether with food
• Where medication, prescriptions and the pharmacy details are kept
• GP surgery, pharmacy and any district nurse contact numbers
• Your own contact number and a backup family contact
• Daily routine: waking, meals, drinks, naps, bedtime
• Food likes, dislikes and any swallowing or diet needs
• Continence products and where spares are kept
• Signs that they are unwell, anxious or in pain, and what helps
• Any equipment and how to use it, such as a hoist or pendant alarm
• Keys, key safe code, alarm code and bin days

Medication: the part to get exactly right

Medication is where handovers most often go wrong. Use the pharmacy label or the repeat prescription list as the source rather than memory, and note anything taken only occasionally, such as pain relief or inhalers.

If a pharmacy blister pack is used, say so. If not, ask the pharmacy whether one would help while you are away. Make sure there is enough supply to cover the whole break, with a few days spare, and that the repeat prescription will not run out halfway.

A professional carer will follow the care plan and the agency's medication policy. Anything clinical, such as changes to doses, belongs with the GP or pharmacist.

Routine and the small things

The small things are what make a break feel safe to the person being cared for. Which chair they sit in, the radio station they like in the morning, whether the curtains stay open at night, what they call the dog. Write them down. A carer who knows them from the first hour will be trusted far sooner.

If your relative has dementia, note the times of day that are harder, the phrases that reassure, and any topics that upset them. Keeping a familiar routine matters more than any activity plan.

What happens if something changes while you are away

Agree in advance who makes decisions if you cannot be reached. Write down whether you want to be phoned about small things or only about anything serious, and give the carer permission to call the GP or 111 without checking first.

If your relative has a Lasting Power of Attorney or any advance wishes, note where the documents are kept. If a care agency is providing respite, the office should be your single point of contact while you are away.

• Who to call first, second and third
• What counts as urgent enough to ring you
• Permission to contact the GP or 111 directly
• Where legal documents and advance wishes are kept

Preparing the person you care for

Some people welcome a new face; others find the idea of a stranger in the house unsettling. How you introduce the break can make a real difference.

Talk about it in advance in simple, positive terms, focusing on what will stay the same rather than what will change. If possible, arrange for the carer to visit while you are still at home, so the first meeting is relaxed and familiar. Let your relative show the carer around and explain how they like things done; being the expert in their own home helps people feel in control.

For someone living with dementia, keep explanations short and repeat them calmly as needed. A photo of the carer on the fridge, with their name, can help. Avoid long goodbyes on the day, and trust that the carer will use the notes you have left to keep the routine going.

Afterwards, ask your relative how it felt. Their answer, even if brief, will help you plan the next break.

Afterwards: review and plan the next one

When you are back, spend ten minutes going through how it went. What worked? What did the carer notice that you had not? Most families find that the second break is easier to arrange and easier to relax into.

If you are in Egham, Virginia Water, Staines, Ashford, Sunbury or Shepperton, Reedsfield Care provides respite at home from £28 an hour for weekday daytime visits and £1,300 a week for live-in cover. We are rated Good by the CQC, and our care manager can help you turn this checklist into a written care plan.